r&r diary – Driving Out West to Mother’s Always Gets Me Going – 11.25.12

“Bill Fay is one of the greats — this is a beautiful album.” – Nick Cave

The powers of persuasion + I love Nick Cave = I will love “Life is People.”

The CD arrives in time for a long drive out to visit my mother. I am aligned with the universe or at least the universe of Amazon.com.

Side A
Once, some time ago, Jammer and I were walking and this older women says to us “you’re not regular citizens, are you?” we laughed, what a funny thing to say, but there is some truth there, because we have both always kinda felt like mis-fits, painted birds, or broken-winged beasts.

I would say I am a spiritual person, both Jammer and I are really, and we have always aproached the creative process from this perspective. A journey. Collective energy moving outward. Little dialogues with a thing that is both “inside” and “outside”of us. Bill Fay’s CD got me to thinking about the spiritual world and about how you can hear or see things new again. Fresh again. You can actually shake up a sleeping dead thing, and have a new experience, a new dance, in a new way.

Side B
There’s this bucking bronco swirling round inside me, it’s a whirling dervish, it questions authority, ideaology and all these human-made belief systems. This universe, this planet is a confusing and mysterious place, (ESPECIALLY when I am driving out to visit my mother,) why, with the fractals and superstring theories, black holes, red giants, blue giants, darkness and light, not to mention all the wild things going on here on “big blue”, well it’s hard to believe we could possibly have answers to any thing, it’s hard to believe we can get the shoes laced and put one foot in front of the other, unless maybe, yes, the answers just keep moving toward new questions and new answers and it’s all way, way faster now that we have discovered dark matter, and for the love of Mary!! How does this help ease up the reins on that crazy wild mare inside me…

I’m driving along with the human struggle, through the monotonous grey tone of the suburban streets, navigating the sad barren landscape of boarded strip malls, and the tears start flowing. ……then…. just when you least expect it, something simple appears, it rises up and claims you like the brilliant red orange colors of a sunset. Like the continuous motion of a caressing shore line or like a little flower bloom in an over-grown garden. A beautiful little piece of poetry. As I drive along I discover I am singing, singing along to this CD that I have never heard before…… “Don’t cry, you can rely on me honey, you can come by any time you want, I’ll be around, your were right about the stars, each one is a setting sun,” and then……. one line bursts out, with such power, such force…… “Our love is all of God’s money.”

Wait! What was that? What a glorious line! How do I know this song? At the stoplight I scramble for the credits. Woah, it’s a Wilco song (Jeff Tweedy & Jay Bennett) Ahhhh, there it is! One line to re-thread the needle of grace. A new way in. Then it’s….. rest a bit now honey….. ease your mind and soul sweetie…… hands to the wheel now baby……. ten o’clock, two o’clock….. pay attention to the ride. The songs on this cd are wonderful, it is a lovely, beautiful piece of work. Many thanks to both Nick Cave & Bill Fay. – Carla

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